Oh wait, that's probably already happened! I want to first offer all the other moms who struggle with not making enough milk, or having had a really hard time nursing and had to stop my love and my support.
I didn't start off as what you would call hippy or crunchy momma or anything close to that! Which I'm sure using donated milk would be categorized as to many!
BUT-----I am not a boob Nazi! Not being able to produce made me feel so inferior to other moms, like such a failure, completely inadequate.
And while I know breast milk is best and LOVE LOVE LOVE the moments I have had nursing my babies with the Lact-Aid.......this is the only baby I have ever had who has not had formula more than they have had breast milk.
I don't believe formula is bad, I don't believe my other kids didn't have as great of a start, I don't believe that they were sicker, I don't believe they are not as smart.
I can't begin to convey the feelings I felt when I had my first son Eli 11 years ago and had to supplement with formula, and having a friend tell me I was basically feeding my baby poison. What else was I supposed to do? There was nothing like these milk networks back then, at least not that I knew of! It was so heartbreaking to know my friends looked down on me for needing to feed him formula-when I had no other choice-it wasn't a matter of trying harder, or trying a different latch, or drinking more water, or taking more Fenugreek (my bathroom smelled like IHOP by the way!).
My body had failed me, and as much as most peoples intentions were good and they were just trying to be helpful, it was still so hurtful! How was I supposed to explain to them that I was broken? I didn't want them searching on the Internet to see what tubular breasts looked like and then giving me weird eyes the next time they saw me! ( And FYI there is a whole range of what breasts look like when being categorized at IGT or tubular.....so go ahead and take a guess lol ).
So moms who use formula, I'm not better than you, I am you.
Don't let anyone tell you that your child is not as smart, or wonderful, or healthy. I don't believe that promoting breast feeding needs to tear anyone down, and unfortunately it often does. And having been on both sides I see and know how it feels!
I love to nurse my babies, love it!! I love looking down at their sweet faces and having them smile back up at me and the milk dribbling down their cheeks! But with 3 out of 4 of my kids, that milk was hardly mine, and it wasn't breast milk, it was formula.
Being able to have all these donations and being able to give Asher this milk is healing for me, and me alone---it's not a statement against the formula companies, or showing anyone that I'm a better mom!
Those other 3 great kids of mine are so incredibly fabulous, and so amazingly smart-I can hardly keep up with how much they know, formula didn't poison them.
So for those unable to find donors, or who are uncomfortable using donor milk, you are FABULOUS moms!!! Using formula doesn't take away from that and don't let someone make you feel that way, and don't allow yourself to believe it (and I know that's not easy, because I've sure been there!!).
Now moms, go hug your babies, love on them, kiss them, and tell them you love them. They grow up way too fast! My oldest is bound and determined to pass me up this year, it looks like it wont take much! lol
1 comments:
Girl, I love love this post. I want to print it out and tack it to my wall - I love it that much. I love that you are doing something healing for yourself, and that your love for others doesn't depend on their feeding choices. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone, and like I will not be judged either way. :)
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