30 weeks pregnant

Well, I've made to 30 weeks! This pregnancy has been hard, harder than the others. For lots of different reasons.

We have a had a lot of changes happen over the last year, and honestly pregnancy + hormones + change are a really bad combination. Oh and maybe throw in 3 kids and a husband and going to school!

I'm still sick. Not throwing up so much any more, but unless I do take my anti nausea meds I can't eat, or if I do eat it certainly feels like it wants to come back up. When I ordered my last bottle I thought for sure that had to be the LAST bottle I would need. But I'm down to a week left in this bottle and I'm thinking I should probably order another-just in case! Because I don't see all this clearing up in the next week!

My belly is big, my little son is like a tornado. He kicks so much and the kids love to watch my belly go up and down and back and forth. The only time they want to cuddle with me is really when they want to cuddle with Asher-but I'll take it!

The kids are so excited, I'm excited to meet him-but it might be even more exciting to watch them meet him. They are beyond excited!

Every day they count down and ask how big he is, and how much has he moved and what did he react to.

They talk about who gets to hold him first and how long they each get to hold him. They talk about how soft his head will be and how much they want to kiss his cheeks, and what he will smell like.

They want to know all the little details of how their births went and how I think his will go.

I hear them debating if he will have hair like Eli and Mara or if he will have more peach fuzz like Solomon.

They place bets on how big he will be, and how many days late he will arrive.  They were all "over due" and both boys were born on a Monday and Mara was born on a Tuesday, so the bets are divided between the 20th and the 21st.

Going into this pregnancy I was really worried if I could love another baby the way I love my kids. I feel...and always felt that I knew these three before I was even born. I felt we had this bond. So even though I wanted another baby so badly-it worried me, would I mess up what we had? Could I love him or her the way I do my others. That's part of the reason I think I really wanted those 3D ultrasound pictures-I needed to see him, I needed to be able to feel that he was real-and I wasn't just sick for nothing!

I love him, I do. And each day I see my kids being so excited for him, it makes me love him even more!! Hearing them use his name, and talk about what they want to teach Asher, and who they think Asher will be like, just makes it more real. I realize I'm not having him just for me, he is theirs too. It's kind of fun and exciting to be having this baby as a family. When I had them, they each were so little they didn't really care! But this time-they are in love with him, even before he gets here. He is loved sooooo much, and I know he feels it, he reacts different when they are all around with their hands on my belly, then when it's just me!

These next 10 weeks are going to seem so slow, I hope with the holidays they feel faster!! We are all ready to meet our new little man.