My kids are cute

And that makes me happy. I have been trying really hard to find a few things every day that make me happy because right now-I'm not particularly very happy!

It's hard to be cooped up all the time, unable to find the strength to shower and get dressed, and go some where..all with the thought of puking looming over ones head. It's lonely, and depressing, and very hard for someone like me who likes to solve problems and get things done!

I don't like not being able to make my kids lunch, or bake some bread, or make a cake with them just for fun! I don't like that we can't just pick up and go have a picnic at the park for a few hours, or run to a friends house to swim. I don't like not feeling like me, and I can tell the kids don't feel like themselves right now either, we are all a little grouchy around here!!

The meds work some times.....today they are doing okay! I'm not eating anything, but I made my kids lunch, and cut their sandwiches in fun shapes and made plans with them of what we should pack in their lunches this year. And it almost makes me want to cry-just the normalcy of it all! How I wish for that back!

The kids go to school next week, and I start back the week after. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do it. I'm betting on a few close calls to the bathroom, and having to sip ice water and munch on pretzels while I try not to disturb anyone! I just keep thinking, only a few more week, you will start feeling better--it will work out.....and then I just hope and pray it does, otherwise it's going to get ugly at school!

I'm just about at 13 weeks, and with the others I did begin to have some better days come about week 20. Still sick and all, but better, and I keep thinking 6-7 more week, we can do that right....breath...sigh....

So, despite this struggle, I am grateful for:

My kids who have learned how to be self sufficient this summer

My husband who has cooked more in the last 3 months than in the 11 years we have been married!

Friends and Family who put up with my constant cancelling of plans and don't get mad, but are understanding.

For "On Demand" otherwise I wouldn't have anything to watch after so many weeks of laying on the couch!

I'm grateful that my kids are so excited for this baby, and help give me some of that excitement-since my own is buried deep right now in being sick!

I am grateful for this baby **cry** , despite these struggles, it is something I have wanted sooooo badly for so long.

27 more week....I can do it....I can do it.....I can do it.......